DANIEL OVALLE
STAFF WRITER

This week, we tread some old waters with Jack Hill’s Spider Baby or The Maddest Story Ever Told. Hill is the Director of the already “B-Movie Broken-Down” Blacksploitation classic Coffy, in which Pam Grier is sexy and sassy as a vengeful sister out to take down a drug ring that turned her sister into a junkie.

If you liked Coffy, well … Spider Baby is nothing like it, but it is definitely still worth your time and money and earns its 3.5 out of 5 CHUDs rating. (That’s rights CHUDs, Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.)

Spider Baby features Sid Haig and Lon Chaney, two of horror’s best actors doing some great work. You would remember Chaney from his portrayals of the Wolfman and various other big screen monsters during the 1940’s and 50’s. Sid Haig had a recent resurgence because of the modern B-Movies by Rob Zombie House of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects in which he played the killer clown Captain Spaulding.

As seen individually in these two greats work, their talents in tandem are magnificent. Chaney does fine work conjuring Lawrence Talbot (aka the man who becomes the Wolfman) in his nervous and protected portrayal of Bruno, the accursed family’s housekeeper, and Haig is both funny and a bit creepy as the man-child Ralph who lives with this horrible curse.

What curse do I speak of? Well the movie gets right to work mapping out the primary struggle in the first 5 minutes. It opens with the protagonist who confides in us, the audience, the mad happenings that he has lived through.

He tells us of an odd but wealthy section of his family tree that, through some recessive gene, all inherited an ailment that causes an individual to regress mentally after the age of 10. Worst of all though is that once they become of a certain age they devolve into a cannibalistic and angry state.

That last fact was unknown to the outside world until our storyteller, the kind Peter, and his greedy sister come to claim the ailing family’s property. This tactic of telling the audience the entire plot, then showing the action is a classic B-Movie trait; I enjoy the confusion of watching a random B-Movie and being completely confused for twenty minutes. I can just imagine watching the first scene without that intro, and how much stronger the violence would have affected.

This movie is not overtly violent, or sexual, or funny, but is does give you a taste of all three with clean and natural transitions between them. The unifying thread of Spider Baby is the superb characters developed by Haig, Chaney, and the two young actresses who did very well as the afflicted sisters Elizabeth and Virginia.

Their love and protection for each other as a family provides a surprising message as these characters’ develop into the heroes, and the so called normal people who want to break them up are quickly detested.

If you like your horror with a hidden message of family camaraderie then Spider Baby is for you. This movie is available for purchase on DvD and for rent at Blockbuster or Netflix. It is also currently available on Netflix streaming.

Daniel Ovalle is a senior in Science Technology and Society and can be reached at DOvalle@njitvector.com.

Daniel Ovalle

Staff Writer

Popcorn (1991) directed by Mark Herrier, might be a perfect B-Movie. It is surprisingly good, mainly because of its surprises. I sat to watch the movie on an ugly night in the middle of the week. I was in the perfect mental state and shared the room with a pile of snacks and a bigger pile of friends. We were all ready to watch a bunch of bad movies with no necessary direction planned. Popcorn was chosen because of its title and its two line description on Netflix. We were all in for a trip, and anyone who follows in our footsteps will experience a B-Movie that disserves the 5/5 Vengeful Popcorn rating.

Popcorn follows the story of a group of college students in a film club who are looking for some extra money to fund films they want to produce. Their advisor is in possession of some great gimmicky 1950’s B-Movies and suggests that the group screen them as originally intended.

These formats include a 3-D giant fly movie, an electric man film presented in shockovision, and a smellovision film. (Watching a B-Movie about watching B-Movies… is that like Meta or something?) The students begin renovating the old theater which will host this event when an odd old man shows up out of nowhere with a chest of authentic special effects equipment from the 1950’s. He asks them to use his things, but what the students don’t know is that within the chest is the last remaining print of a haunted experimental film… the film of one of the student’s nightmares!

So far everything mentioned is common horror movie territory. But this is just the platform, the spring board, and though it is not a high dive that doesn’t stop the movie from doing some sort of triple sou cou backflipy mc twist into a pool of awesome sauce.

This movie never falls flat. It hits you head on and makes no apologies. Once it got rolling I tried hard not blink for fear of missing some ridiculousness and ending up totally lost. Yes that is how fast it moves and yes that is how much fun you can have. (If you think hydrating your eyes externally to prevent blinking fun.)

Now let’s get to some serious (not really) B-Movie breakdowning. Question: Does the movie have a ridiculously scored 80’s movie montage? Answer: Yes. Question: Does the movie have a reggae dance party? Answer: Yes! Question: Is this movie supposed to be silly or gory or what? Answer: Well, Popcorn has an identity crisis… it is really silly with great over acting, but once the villain comes forward he is so convincingly crazy that it pushes the edge.

Question: Is there a twist? Answer: There are twists of First-Saw-Movie-ian proportions. There are so many unexpected twists that you might just about brick before you discover the villain’s identity. And once you discover his identity it both makes perfect sense and is a ridiculous surprise. A flaw some viewers would find is that there is no hint of the villain’s identity, but that is perfect in my opinion because upon the reveal you experience the same surprise and horror as the female protagonist.

Popcorn gets extra B-Movie points because it is an especially egregious box office failure, and its lack of any note worthy actors or production staff. Really there is no reason anyone should know about or watch this movie. No reason, that is, other than the fact that it is awesome. To watch Popcorn you can purchase the DvD from various DvD venders or rent it from Netflix or Blockbuster. It is also available for streaming on Netflix.

Daniel Ovalle is a senior in Science Technology and Society and can be reached at DOvalle@njitvector.com.

Daniel Ovalle
Staff Writer

Pam Grier is one “Foxy” lady known recently for her work in the L Word. She is delightful to watch in any role, and an added bonus is that most of these roles are in great B-Movies. Her sexual awareness and confidence drives any movie in which she is featured.
In the first Pam Grier vehicle Coffy (1973) written and directed by Jack Hill Ms. Grier thrills as the title character Coffy, a hard working, tough nosed nurse by day who, after her shifts, seeks revenge from the smack dealers corrupting her streets. This blacksploitation/sexploitation classic covers all bases of both genres and never disappoints, fully meriting a B-Movie Breakdown rating of 4 Foxy Fems out of 5.
Stemming from the beautiful B-Movie crock pot of the 1970’s this movie is a spectacular concoction of the best of the decade’s exploitation film qualities. Let’s first inspect the blacksploitation qualities. For me a blacksploitation film starts with the music, and this move has some groovy music. You may ask: “Does the title song constantly sing the name Coffy?” Yes, yes it does. The music is funky, funny, and very well timed and paced with the action.
Speaking of action, this movie is chocked full. From the first shot gun blast to the final chase, action is never more than a few minutes away and can happen during any unexpected scene. Is it a regular interrogation? No, it is a full on fight. Oh look a nice get together. Wait… those women are all prostitutes and Coffy is going to beat them down.

That’s right like any good sexploitation movie with Coffy you are never too far from a girl fight, rifled with torn dresses an exposed niceties.
Yes in case the term sexploitation did not give it away, this movie displays gratuitous nudity. What can you expect? Well, surprisingly graphic violence, displays of drug use, black on black violence, and a lot of generally naughty jive talk. All encompassed in a great Blackspliotation… Sexploitation… well let’s just call it a B-Movie. Fans of bad accents would enjoy the undercover Pam Grier’s attempt to pass as Jamaican.
This movie is very sexy and is loaded with high octane action and some gruesome violence. The “Fun Due to Poor Quality of Film Making“  aspect is low on this one other than that the jive talk and that delightful Jamaican accent scene. For the 1970’s exploitation fan this movie is a must own. Allow me to suggest the “Fox in a Box” box-set for Coffy and two other Pam Grier greats. Coffy can be rented from Blockbuster and Netflix. It is also available for solo purchase on DvD.

I went to the movies with my friends one night, picked a random movie and time slot, and choose Daybreakers. I didn’t have any expectations when I saw this, like with any new movie that comes out. The first thing that struck me was that it had Sam Neil in it, the actor who played Dr. Grant in Jurassic Park  I was excited for this, as I’m a huge JP fan.

I love how the filmmakers tried to make this one like a horror movie.  This movie is so mediocre, I’ll spoil the whole thing for you: in the opening, a bat flashes on the screen and screeches just to scare the audience.

The story revolves around the following:  the human race has been partially converted to an entire race of vampires who feed on blood. In this “vampire world” everyone lives underground to avoid the sunlight during the day, however they can use cars with sun shields to drive around on the surface.

Humans of course are still living on the surface, but the vampires have a special police force to go after the humans. A scientist played by Ethan Hawke is working on a special blood substitute for vampires to deal with the shortage of blood. After a failed experiment, he sets out to find the perfect substitute, and runs into some humans on the surface, who reveal it to him. The other vampires however don’t like this, and would rather stay immortal.

As the movie goes on, the blood shortage gets worse as other vampires in “vampire world” start to decay and turn to ugly vampires that are un-human like. Once many vampires turn into mutant vampires, they are no longer accepted by their civilization. They are executed by being dragged by a chain attached to a tank for some reason, driving into the sunlight.

The humans then find a way to convert vampires back to humans by simply having a converted vampire suck the blood of a human. They do this to the leader of the vampires (Sam Neil), and he turns into a human. At this point the entire police force, which rages for human blood, finds out that he isn’t a vampire anymore, and they attempt to suck the blood out of him which turns all of them into humans.

Then another hoard of vampire police forces come after the other hoard of converted vampire police forces and sucks their blood and kills them. They become humans. Then another hoard of vampire police forces come after them and sucks their blood and become humans.

Then guess what?

Another hoard of evil vampire police forces comes after the human police forces, sucks their blood, kills them, and becomes humans. Finally the entire police force is dead, leaving the remaining converted vampire police forces (who are human now) alive. At this point they are shocked and confused to why there are so many dead police forces on the ground bitten and brutally attacked and murdered to death.

So there you have it, the entire vampire race all converted to humans, they live happily ever after, the end. But wait! The flying bat comes on the screen to scare the audience. OOOH, SCARY!

By Edward Martinez

When you take a young, misunderstood, above-average-intelligence high school boy who falls in love with a beautiful and also smart girl looking for a bad guy to sweep her off her feet, you get Youth in Revolt.

Michael Cera takes on the role of Nick Twisp, a young “uncool” high school student who loathes his life and plans on winning the love of his life, Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday), by creating a bad alter ego to help him break the law.

While Cera takes on the same character he has in past movies,  I can confidently say that Youth in Revolt is a genuinely funny movie and an overall good time. Unlike some of the  other movies he has been in (Superbad, Juno, Paper Hearts etc.), Youth in Revolt has you laughing more at life and the characters that fill its world. The movie is largely based on the book of the same name. Those who have read the book will not be disappointed, although there are some differences between the two works.

The movie is filled with somewhat bizarre characters that help mock real scenarios in everyday life. While the movie is based around young love, the dry humor is what really makes it so great. Many of the jokes are spoken and not shown, so you might want to turn on your listening ears. The dialogue is where all the action really is.

The movie targets a wider audience at first, and the jokes may be hard to find. Even so,  there are  enough action and superficial jokes to  keep everyone entertained. This movie is a must-see and would be a great way to spend your money at the theater.

Edward Martinez is an Electrical Engineer, can be reached at em62@njit.edu

For many years, there were only two settings in movies I would want to live in: either the wizarding world of Harry Potter, or Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I never could decide, but after watching a movie a weekend ago, there has been a new addition. I think it might even be a first pick. Avatar.

Is an amazing movie. It’s a classic already. You unconsciously forgive its predictable story line because of how beautiful it is. The graphics are graceful and splendid. You are asked simply to watch, and the movie absorbs you, it grasps your hand, and you give it, willingly, and it takes you to Pandora, a moon rich with green green, lush green, thick green. It’s a pristine world, unharmed by anthropocentric ideals.

The natives, the Na’vi don’t demand anything of their world, they are in sync with the green, wholly. You don’t want it to end: half way through the movie I was getting anxious because I knew the movie would have to finish. When Neytiri, the Na’vi, watches Jake Sully, the marine, stumble while lost in Pandora’s wilderness and kills the animal attaching him, she laments the creature’s death.

Jake Sully, at this point very anchored in our ‘Human’ way of thinking says that he gets it, and he’s sorry. She berates him and says he doesn’t get it, that he made her kill something. That it’s dead now. Watching that is somewhat upsetting. You realize that unbeknownst to any decision you’ve consciously made, you’ve become jaded over the years, and when as a child accidentally squishing a bug was cause for mourning, it isn’t anymore.

This movie is important, not merely for its captivating and enchanting graphics, but also because its green lies riddled with impressions. Ultimately its graphics are as intense as its message. Watch it with your eyes and heart open.

Welcome to B-Movie Breakdown. This is the first of a new series of movie reviews for the Vector. It is geared towards the complete movie novice, so I feel it is important to first define the medium I am reviewing. Let’s assume that we all agree on a broad definition of movies (when I say movies I mean movies, not films because of the pretentious and serious quality that is frequently accompanied with film).

Movies are edited visual and audile works of culture and B-movies are the members of the movie category that are less highly regarded by the “film crowd” for their low technical quality, odd or grotesque stories and lack of popular names that would ensure commercial success. B-Movies should be enjoyed for their flaws, their character, what the French call a certain “je ne se Frances.” This quality turns a technically mediocre film into a cult gem that is shared between friends and may breed inside jokes.

For the first B-Movie Breakdown the near perfect Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) directed by Lee Demarbre written by Ian Driscoll and starring Phil Caracas as Jesus Christ is an obvious choice if only because it represents the concept of a B-Movie so well.

Why is JCVH so good? Let me begin answering this by listing some things that describe what you would experience in this movie. Imagine Lesbians, Vampires, Lesbian Vampires, a priest with a mohawk, Kung Fu fight scenes, Canada, horror, musical, a makeover montage, a transsexual, an evil scientist, motorcycles, and of course the second coming of Jesus H. Christ. Stir all these concepts together and poor the resultant concoction into a canon of crazy and light the fuse. The outcome is an 85 minute blast and a great example of the randomness and indefinable charm of the best a B-Movie has to offer.

Throughout the movie you can only know what to expect if you expect the unexpected. The role of the protagonist will fluidly sift from character to character. Some will die, some will be resurrected and some will be re-baptized in the waters of Lake Ontario made holy by some sort of renegade group of priests.

What stands out is the enthusiasm and devotion of the actors which hits both extremes beautifully. During a viewing you may find that you have to pick yourself up after the rediculawesomeness that you just witnessed knocks you out of your seat. It is clear that this piece disserves my highest recommendation.

Here is the portion of the review in which I explain my introduction to the featured B-Movie, and in turn how you can get it if you want to experience it for yourself. I first found Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter through a Spectrum movie night chosen for its inclusion of characters with diverse sexual identities and message of acceptance (or something like that), and chosen for repeat viewings for its difficult to match randomness and spirit.

It is currently available for purchase on DVD and Blu-ray (the Blu-ray is often cheaper?), for rent on Netflix and Blockbuster, and streaming on Netflix. Share this B-Movie experience with an open-minded and/or possibly inebriated group for a fun, or at least interesting night.

Based on a novel by Walter Kirn, the third film in director Jason Reitman’s oeuvre following Thank You for Smoking and Juno, Up in the Air, tells the story of traveling termination specialist, Ryan Bingham, played by George Clooney, as a paradigm shift at his own company forces him to make some crucial adjustments in his life. Bingham seems content living as an aviation obsessed nomad, devoid of real personal connections with women, friends, or family.

As he puddle jumps the country in first class, letting go of employees and letting their managers off the hook, he develops a stoic philosophy that the fewer people and things he has in his life, the happier he will be. A man who revels in his perfectly packed suitcase and is obsessed with collecting frequent flier miles under the guise of “loyalty”, Bingham is a hired hand, a corporate mercenary used by large organizations to let people down gently, much like the airplanes on which he relies for transportation.

The character’s skill and Clooney’s undeniable charm combine to make even his firings seem like the “opportunities” he makes them out to be. Bingham seeks to perfect his method, using well rehearsed monologues about purpose and success to minimize an employee’s pain and legal blowback with calm, seemingly sincere rhetorical flourishes. Bingham is so good at what he does because behind the slick facade of someone who delights in casual relationships with women in airport hotels, lies a man in search of something more.

Operating in a world governed by three letter abbreviations, increased security, “single serving friends”, and relative anonymity, Clooney’s Bingham is an adept traveler, more at home in the air than on the ground, but when his boss Craig Gregory, played by Jason Bateman, decides to embrace a more efficient Internet system proposed by Anna Kendrick’s Natalie, Bingham is expected to give up his expensive habit of jetting around the country, and instead fire people with nothing more than impersonal video conferences.

Bingham makes a convincing argument that the humanity of his job is the most important part, so he’s given the chance to show the precocious Natalie the ropes. The unlikely duo of suave and spunky crisscross the country discovering a lot about themselves and one another in the process. While traveling, Bingham meets another frequent flyer named Alex, played by Vera Farmiga, and they begin a casual relationship, which morphs into a rather unconventional love story as they meet up whenever their schedules coincide.

While it is not the blockbuster that Avatar is, Up In the Air is a virtuosic study of human loyalty and commitment. It is exactly the kind of film with which I fall in love, a artistic depiction of imperfect people, and how their interactions shape changes in their perspectives.

It is not easy to do it well, but Jason Reitman seems to have mastered the art of this realistic character drama. The film is a simple, down to earth story grounded in the modern realities of economic recession and impersonal interactions.

The film weaves humor, pathos, and an intensely likable cast of characters into a film that doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but certainly raises some interesting questions about the nature of love, commitment, isolation, and dehumanizing effects of technology.

The ending, which is a bit trite for my taste, stays true to the spirit of the film, and leaves moviegoers with something to think about: are they simply collecting the frequent flier miles or are they enjoying the ride?

Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes is an action/adventure film based on the characters of Arthur Conan Doyle. A well thought out plot pairs with strong performances from both Robert Downey, Jr. as the title character and Jude Law as his companion Dr. Watson to create a compelling film.

Holmes and Watson must work to stop an occult-obsessed serial killer who has apparently risen from the dead. The mystery involves many magical and supernatural elements, all giving the skepticism and disdain for pseudoscience of Doyle’s original character the opportunity to shine through.
The movie adds a great amount of spectacle through fight scenes. Fighting takes place in a variety of interesting settings, affording the characters opportunities to take advantage of such weapons as a giant mallet and a steampunk taser. The fighting is densely focused on throughout the movie. Each fight escalates conflict or thrill in some way, ending in a final battle to be remembered.

Fans of the original Doyle stories will notice some inconstancy between his work and the movie. Downey as Holmes is more of an action hero with a quick wit than the super sleuth as portrayed in the original stories. The movie version boxes in an underground fight club, matches blows with a giant, leaps out of windows, and overall, takes a massive dose of physical abuse.

Holmes’ intelligence is expressed mostly through witty comments. There are some scenes emphasizing his deductive powers, and the ending contains a “wrapping up” akin to the stories. For the most part, however, Holmes is clever and dryly funny, rather than outright smart.
The action keeps the movie fast-paced enough for a typical movie-goer, but in the end, the spirit of Doyle’s original works is preserved. There is a sense of mystery, a huge skepticism for the supernatural, and a reverence for reason and intellect. These things, along with a bunch of action make Sherlock Holmes worthwhile for long-time fans and the uninitiated alike.