Always Have The Strength To Smile
I guess you can say this year was one full of tests and trials. It was filled with every imaginable thing that could potentially lead me to my wit’s ends and my sanity’s limits, but I’ve been making it out pretty well so far. I’ve been driven into a corner so many times it almost became my home at some point, but I always tried to return to my real home, to the happiness I wanted to find.
There was so much that I’ve learned since jumping into this year. Being as optimistic as I am, I view things in positives and take the negatives as something to improve upon. I’ve realized the extent of my abilities and how powerful I can really be. What I lacked in action, I compensated with my words and beliefs. I’ve stuck true to my guns all throughout my troubles, believing that overall people are good in the end regardless of what happens. And well, people do things for their own reasons which should be respected.
I don’t want to say I’ve lost a lot, but I can say I lost most of my naïve tendencies. I suppose that’s how maturity works. I’ve had my ups and downs with people, lost opportunities here and there, and perhaps missed many chances that I should have taken; all in all though, it was something I decided ultimately. At that time, and even now, I do not regret these actions. In this kind of world you live for yourself; that way, others will be more meaningful to you. You can live for others but in this age people are temporary in your life. They can leave just as easy as they enter your life. While I was going through the motions of “growing up” as they call it, I realized in the end it is you who you live with, so regretting anything that has happened will halt all of your development.
People say it’s good to live by morals. Others say to live as fate prescribes to you. All in all, they want you to seek the good life. But in my thinking, I can honestly say that you need to live as you want to live. I don’t believe in the concept of fate, I don’t believe in the concept of a locked destiny. I do, however, believe in the essence of human life and the amazing ability we have to bend anything to our will. Change? Change is a concept we created. It happens because life must continue and must never be stationary. Same with time, which can’t stop either. And the same goes for thinking, you just never stop thinking. You seek the good life, and you seek the happiness you deserve in whatever method you decide. Be it the “fate” you accept or the path you’re willing to tread, you must go forth and find it or else you’ll never obtain it.
Now, I can’t say what it is you’ll find or what it is you should find. That’s all up to you. People I’ve met in my life seek different things. Some only want love and a simple hometown life. Others want a turbulent life of excitement and long lasting memories. There are the farfetched dreamers who wish for a life beyond their ordinary ones. Then there are those who wish to settle down and let life go on casually. That’s the beauty of mankind, the vast differences that make up our lives. But it’s not always about the others; it’s about you in the end and what you gain. Essentially, if you are not gaining anything, then you ought to change routes and find something more fulfilling.
I don’t want to say I’ve lost a whole lot, but what I did “lose” I gained in knowledge. I wake up with a new perspective and understanding of how this world works, and how beautiful and cruel it can be every day of my life. And you know what? I still wouldn’t have it any other way.