In South Asian culture, hair defines beauty standards. Straight, black, and even, your hair must be willing to bend itself into conformity. Hair becomes a performance, something that must be rehearsed and showcased to the world. But for those whose locks lie outside this narrow margin of perfection, hair becomes more of a hindrance than anything else.

For Akanksha Rajagopal, a second-year Biology major, embracing her natural curls was a lengthy process. “In middle school, I hated my hair so bad,” she explains. “[My hair] was getting, like, curly, and I didn’t know what to do about it.” Through many trials and tribulations, including cutting her own bangs and impulsively dying her hair pink, Rajagopal has come to accept her natural hair for what it is.

“When I was trying to dye my hair, cut my hair, I was going through a lot of changes as a person and experimenting with my style in general,” she reflects. “A lot of wanting to go back to having natural curly hair has been very heavily tied to [knowing] who I am as a person and … [not] feel[ing] the need to change who I am as much anymore.” 

Neha Vemuri, a third-year Financial Technology major, discovered a new hair texture when living on campus her freshman year. “At home, we have hard water … [which hurt] my hair so much that I didn’t realize I have curly hair,” When I came to campus, the water…[wasn’t] hard water … [so] my hair started curling–like curling, curling.”

Though she learned to care for her newfound curly hair and even dyed it twice, her parents remain reluctant to accept it. “I like to say that my mom lives a little vicariously through me, because I’ll tell her about things that I do, and she’ll be so interested… [when I dyed] my hair, she was so happy at first,” explains Vemuri. “[But,] [s]he knows my dad will disapprove, because it’s not the normal Indian way that a girl maintains herself.” 

Your relationship with your hair often reflects your relationship with tradition, especially with rituals such as hair oiling. For Shakthika Thevarajah, a Mechanical Engineering Technology alumnus, embracing her curly hair came at the expense of partaking in such traditions. 

“I didn’t really grow up with hair oiling because … [when] put it in my scalp, and I … massage it in… [it] tends to expel the heat from my body and pull in the cold, so I get sick from doing that in the winter,” recounts Thevarajah. “[However,] I was able to explore more traditional recipes and … things that my past ancestors may have done to take care of their hair… like sambrani,”  which is resin stripped from tree bark that is burned in Hindu religious rituals and traditionally used to dry wet hair and provide a sweet, smoky aroma.) 

Though culture plays a vital role in shaping South Asian women’s perception of their hair, so does religion — especially considering the sheer religious diversity of South Asia. For a third-year South Indian student wearing a headscarf, “hair” became a synonym for “hijab”. “I am very much a drastic type of person, I fear,” she expresses. “I do like to let… [my hair] grow out, and then do the big chop. The most ‘reasonable’ drastic thing that I did was put the scarf on!” 

Though her hair remains hidden, she has learned to prioritize its maintenance.. “Now that I wear a scarf, cutting my hair doesn’t make a difference,” she explains. “[I gave] … myself bangs in college [, and] my mother was like ‘What did you do?’, which I found funny, because at the end of the day, no one’s gonna see it.”

And for some girls, hair is simply another way to rebel against their parents, rejecting traditions they don’t feel represented by. For Jennifer Chethalan, a third-year Data Science major, her hair is one of many ways she exercises her autonomy. 

“I mean, it’s not just my hair. I got my septum pierced. They weren’t too happy with that. I got my belly button pierced. My mom threw a fit,” relishes Chethalan. “I don’t think there’s a certain way to wear your hair. It’s just [what I’m doing with my hair is] … not what everyone else is doing.” 

The changes we make to our hair, and in turn our appearance, can provide us with a sense of control that is seldom found in other aspects of our lives. If hair represents femininity in South Asian culture, then it has also become a marker of identity amongst the diaspora. After all, who are we without our hair?