Dear Highlander,

It’s been an entire semester of college, and I still haven’t found my people.

Honestly, I think I just don’t know how to make friends at NJIT — it’s very different from my small high school where I was friends with almost everyone. Now, it feels like I’m invisible. What can I do to finally make some friends next semester? 

Sincerely, 

Feeling Lonely  

Dear Feeling Lonely,

Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way — loneliness is never fun. Although you feel invisible right now, I see you, and I know it’s just a matter of time before others will see you too. One thing I can assure you is that there are definitely others out there who are in the same situation, so you aren’t as alone as you feel right now.  

One of the easiest ways to meet people is by going to different events on campus. There are always events going on — I know you get spammed with those Discord messages too. Downloading the Corq app or checking Highlander Hub regularly is a great way to see if there are any events that spark your interest. Even if it feels a little out of your comfort zone to attend events where you don’t know other attendees, there’s no harm in trying — especially when there are free items being offered.  

Similarly, going to club meetings is a fun way to get to know others and potentially find an organization of which you would enjoy being a part. NJIT has no shortage of clubs and organizations; you could join an organization related to your major, interests, or even something you have no experience with. When I first started attending NJIT, I did feel a little nervous about attending club meetings and feeling out of place, but I quickly realized that no one cares if you’re new; usually, you’ll be welcomed just like everyone else.  

Probably the least strenuous method of making friends — and the way I’ve made most of my friends — is to talk to people in your classes. In fact, my very first conversation with my earliest NJIT friend started with her asking me what the professor was talking about, to which I responded that I had no idea. Thus began a beautiful friendship over mutual confusion, and we now take almost all our classes together. In the same vein, if you see a classmate sitting alone, you could try talking to them and see if they would like to study together. Chances are that you’ll have future classes with them as well, and you may end up with a regular study buddy.  

Adjusting to the college social setting will take some time and patience. You may have to step out of your comfort zone, but it will be worth it in the end. Don’t worry, and keep trying — I’m sure you’ll click with someone soon enough. Good luck with the coming semesters!  

Sincerely,  

A Fellow Highlander