Dear Highlander,
You don’t have to answer this if you’re busy. Maybe you’ll just ignore me like everyone else here seems to. I don’t know what it is about me that repels you NJIT kids so much…I swear, I think I’m a perfectly normal person. And I try my best to be a decent one?
I transferred here this semester. Two months in and I haven’t been able to make a single friend. Not. A single. One. Forget friend, I can’t even find someone who wants to hang out for a little bit. I had friends back at my old school and I don’t know why I can’t seem to meet anyone here. Sometimes I feel like no one would care if I just disappeared, and sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t care if I did either. I don’t know what to do. Help me out, please. Or don’t, whatever.
Sincerely,
Feeling a Little Alone Here
Dear Feeling a Little Alone Here,
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling alone; it’s never a pleasant feeling. Maybe we could try to come up with some ways for you to meet some new people?
I don’t know whether you dorm or not, but try to get involved with your residential community, since those are the people who are your literal neighbors. Your building probably has events hosted by either the RAs, or dorm-wide events. Try attending one! Avoid the events that are more movie-oriented, it’s harder to speak to people then. If you see that something like a game night is being hosted, you should stop by.
Meet some like-minded people! This school has all kinds of special interest groups, whether they be for athletics, faith-based, etc. Figure out what your favorite hobbies are, and go out and find a club that fits; I’m sure there will be one! And if not, well, I guess you have a great opportunity to create your own club. The Student Senate has a website for requirements for creating a club.
In the same vein as extracurriculars, try and see if you can schedule yourself for a gym class next semester, or any other class where you have a chance to be a bit more social. I took a modern dance class freshman year, and honestly it can be easy to strike up conversation with people when no one seems to know what they’re doing.
I know feeling lonely can suck. But you should try to ease your feelings of loneliness by reaching out to the people in your life who are already here for you and already care for you. You mentioned your friends that you had at your old school; I know it’s probably harder to stay in contact now that you are not seeing them every day, but hey, you’re probably a millennial, and social media is a thing! Even if you’re not seeing those friends as frequently, you can still definitely reach out to them. There are a lot of ways nowadays for people to interact with each other even when they’re not physically together; you and your long-distance friends could maybe try online games as a way to hang out. And don’t be afraid to speak to your family also; they’re always there for you. At times when it feels like you are in a hole, it becomes so incredibly important to reach out to the people who love you.
Don’t worry; give things some time, and I’m sure you’ll find people you click with here soon enough. Best of luck.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Highlander
